I read an article the other day written by a pet psychologist talking about the importance of acknowledging your pets and making sure they feel both seen and loved. The article was a great read, and the message is something I agree with wholeheartedly, but I do have to admit that sometimes life gets busy and there can be little we can do to combat the affects this has on our relationships with both people and our pets. Reading this article reminded me of a day a few months ago where I learned a lesson about making sure my priorities are in order when it comes to spending time with my four-legged family member.
Carlos has been a steady and reliable member of my family since 2013 when my daughter insisted we needed him after seeing his picture online, leading us to adopt him from the Lee County Animal Shelter located in Sanford that very day. Carlos had a tough first two years of his life before we adopted him and was very unsure of things for a while but soon fit nicely into our family. One thing that has always remained consistent is that Carlos has never been a morning-dog. Most days I have to “encourage” him off his favorite chair to get him to go out before I leave for work, and he still gives me looks that I swear are more human than animal the entire time. But, without fail, Carlos will wait for me by the door as I grab my keys to leave and slowly wag his tail while I tell him goodbye with as many head pats and scratches as I can manage before he slinks away back to his spot and goes to sleep for the rest of the morning. It’s a slow and quiet routine that came to fruition on its own after many early-mornings and something I didn’t realize both of us had come to count on.
A few months ago, I forgot to set my alarm and woke up to that feeling in the bottom of my gut that can only mean one thing: I overslept. Rushing around the house, I managed to get Carlos up and out, pull the necessities together, and let Carlos back in before running out of the door as quickly as I could. My wife usually leaves for work after I do, and she called later that morning asking if I noticed anything different about Carlos when I saw him earlier. When I said that he seemed fine and asked what was going on, she said that normally when she checks on him, he’s sleeping in his chair but that this morning he was laying by the door instead. She thought he might be feeling sick and wanted to go out again, but once she said good morning and gave him his morning treat and love he eventually put himself back to bed like he usually does. After thinking about that morning, it hit me: I did not say goodbye to Carlos. The gentle pat on the head and his sleepy tail-wags were forgotten in the rush to get out the door. Routine is important for everybody, pets and their owners alike. Knowing what to expect and having it happen each day helps to create an environment of safety and feelings of dependability and love between an owner and their pet, regardless of the animal. By forgetting to tell Carlos goodbye, I upset our routine and he might have been left wondering what happened – because he feels as strongly about his morning head-pats and scratches as I do.
Our pets rely on us, not just for physical comforts like food and somewhere to sleep, but for emotional and mental stability and happiness. Acknowledging your pet and making sure they are firmly woven into your daily routines and activities is crucial to their mental, emotional, and even physical health. Letting them know that they are included in you and your family’s schedules helps your pet understand what to expect each day and helps them relax into a space where they feel safe and provided for. By making sure your pet feels involved in your daily life, you are showing them that they are important to you and that you appreciate the time you spend together. Making sure to greet your four-legged family members when you come home, saving them a spot on the couch during your next movie marathon, or never forgetting the sacred bedtime treat strengthens your bond and helps your pet feel apart of the family.
By saying goodbye to Carlos each morning, I was signaling to him that it was the time in our routine where I would be leaving for the day, but that he could expect me to come home for lunch. When my wife then says goodbye sometime later in the day, he knows that he’s now the king of the house but that we’ll always come back home to him. By getting in my last few pets, Carlos, has come to learn that this means I may be saying goodbye for the time being, but that he’s important to me. He feels appreciated and acknowledged, he knows what to expect moving forward, and he feels comfortable and safe being alone in the house. He doesn’t have any anxiety or stress-related behavioral issues throughout the day and he’s always excited when someone comes home.
Could I be a “crazy dog person” who’s reading way too much into a simple situation? Sure, but after a lifetime spent with dogs and cats – I don’t think so. The changes in Carlos’s routine and demeanor were enough to remind me that I needed to keep working hard to be as good a person as Carlos thinks I am, and to prioritize his schedule just as much as my own.
Carlos still gets his head pats each morning and in his old age he’s perfected the look over his shoulder as he walks back to his chair that screams don’t wake me up again – but part of me now knows that he’s also saying thank you.
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